A reader asks: how can I help my boyfriend be more sex-positive? Heather Corinna weighs in on how being afforded agency by our sexual partners is the barest of basics.
Definately
SEXUAL HEALTH UPDATE
I often get asked "why" about so many things. This is a great answer
This blog is a place for you to explore the amazing world of sexual health. We will cover the A to Z of sexual health. This may include Sexually Transmitted Infections, Sexual Dysfunction, Pleasure, Relationships and anything in between.
A reader asks: how can I help my boyfriend be more sex-positive? Heather Corinna weighs in on how being afforded agency by our sexual partners is the barest of basics.
Definately
A lil reminder
Read my full review of the Fun Factory Stronic G!
' />Review: Fun Factory Stronic G
Four years ago, my G-spot was forever changed by a revolutionary thrusting sex toy called the Stronic Eins. This “pulsator” felt unlike anything I’d ever tried, wiggling against my G-spot so enthusiastically, and quickly became one of my favorite insertables.
So a few weeks ago when an email popped up announcing the new Stronic G, it set my heart fluttering. A G-spotty shape? Pool blue as a color option? In a thrusting Stronic? Dude. I could not say yes fast enough.
In the Stronic G, all the things I ever wanted from the Stronic line have finally come together. It’s less bulky, it’s in a color I love, it hits my G-spot like a dream, and, in a shock twist I did not anticipate, I CAN USE IT HANDS-FREE.
Automated, unwavering G-spot stimulation. Casual squirting. Y'all. My life has been changed.
Apparently normal ph level for a vagina is between 3.5-4.5. Knowing that, how do I make sure that I’m within those numbers? Is there a way to test it? Also what is a “normal” smell for a vagina and what is “not normal” and what kind of discharge normal/not normal (colour) she we look out for and what I do they mean?
Don’t worry about it! You don’t have to make sure that your vaginal fluid is a certain pH. You don’t have to make sure it’s a certain smell or color. Your vagina is going to be different from every other vagina, and it’s OK.
The only thing that’s important is if you feel comfortable. Here’s your check list:
If no, then you leave it be.
If it DOES itch, burn, smell bad, or cause you any discomfort, then you reach out to a healthcare provider to help you figure out just what’s going on.
Usually (NOT ALWAYS):
- Itch = yeast infection, especially when the fluid is thick, clumpy, white or yellow
- Burn = bacterial vaginosis, especially when the fluid is thin, grey, and there’s a lot of it
- Strong fishy odor = bacterial vaginosis (see above)
A healthcare provider can help you figure out exactly what’s going on and if you need it they can prescribe a medication to help treat the problem.
I haven’t been doing any #howifeeltoday drawings in a while and I don’t know if this is the beginning of a resurgence or what. All I know is that I have a LOT going on, mostly good things, but stressful nonetheless. Things that involve self-doubt and courage and change. I’ve been having panic attacks in crowded and/or small public spaces, which are impossible to avoid in New York. I start to feel nauseous, I sweat, and the room spins. I don’t always tell people in the moment which makes it even worse. So now I’m telling all of you in an attempt to relieve the burden I put on myself. I hope being honest about this stuff will help ease the physical symptoms of my anxiety, because trying to keep it in isn’t working anymore.
If you’re feeling trapped & anxious, we’re here to support you 💙
If you need support, remember that we’re here 24/7 for you at: 866.488.7386 🌈 TrevorChat is available at trevorchat.org from 3-9pm ET daily & Trevor Text is available at 202.304.1200 from 3-9pm ET Wed-Fri 🌈 You can find a safe, international online community at: TrevorSpace.org and more resources at thetrevorproject.org 🌈
I'm super embarrassed about vaginal discharge and other things. For example, when I get it on with my boyfriend and he starts to do things to me I get scared that my vagina might smell or something like that. I know it's all natural but Is there a way to stop vaginal discharge or any smell ? Or am I just being overly sensitive about the whole situation? Thanks!
Nope, there’s no way to stop vaginal discharge. It’d be like trying to stop saliva. It’s a necessary, useful, normal part of your anatomy. Remember:
Here’s the thing to remember: sexuality is varied and diverse. Maybe the smell of your vaginal discharge doesn’t turn YOU on, but it likely turns other people on. It is sexy to see that someone is turned on and getting wet. That wetness almost always means that they’re excited, that they like what’s going on, that they’re into the person (/people) they’re getting it on with. [QUICK NOTE: VAGINAL LUBRICATION DOES NOT = CONSENT.]
If your partner isn’t into you having a wet vagina, then it’s likely that they a) don’t understand bodies and b) don’t deserve to have sex with you. If you’re dry during sex, that means that it is likely uncomfortable for you. No good.
Look at this beautiful illustration of the arousal cycle! Vulvas are so cool!
The smell of a vagina is different for each person, and it can be exciting for other folks to get to know their partner(s) smells & textures, the things that get make them moan, the way to touch them just right. Having sex is a fun exploration of bodies and brains and how to make them feel good. I know it’s a lot easier to say than to do, but try to be less nervous about your boyfriend not liking normal parts of your body - remember that there are a million people in the work that LOVE vaginas and everything about them. If he doesn’t like your vagina’s smells & wetness, someone else will!
[One caveat - if your vagina smells strongly with an ‘amine’ odor, somewhat like fish-gone-bad, that can be a sign of an infection. Get that checked out.]
Hi! Getting a period is a definite yes to not being pregnant right? But is it somehow possible tho? To have period and be pregnant
Hi anon,
Thank you for your question. Having a period is a sign that you are not pregnant. People do not have periods if they are pregnant. There is a small chance that someone might experience bleeding while pregnant.
This is referred to implantation bleeding or decidual bleeding. This is any bleeding that occurs when someone is pregnant. It is very rare and not like a normal period. Anytime you experience bleeding during pregnancy you should visit your health care provider as it can be an indication that there is a medical issue going on.
I hope this helps.
This isnt about sexual health but it is about pleasure. I am able to have very intense orgasms from masturbating but they are even more intense when I watch porn. Is it strange to like different kinds of porn from the lesbian kind to watching guys masturbate or even gay male sex. I usually just rub my clit but I am starting to get into penetration, is that also normal to when going through puberty?
From what you have said this is very normal for puberty. Pleasure is about finding the ways that make you feel good. The best thing is that finding out what feels good to you now will help you be able to say NO to the things that don’t feel good later.